Violent mood swings

Oh, those violent mood swings
I don't know exactly what to feel
I want to cry for hours and
Laugh like a hysterical person

I am so tired
My body is about to collapse
But yet I can't sleep
Everytime I close my eyes
My mind is flooded with disconnected thoughts
Voices fills my ears with their parallel conversations

I get out of bed and walk around the room
Again and again and again
I light up one cigarette after the other
I drink to try to calm myself down
But it doesn't work
So I drink more
And I drink again
Fuck it, bottles up!

I am drowning in this spiral of madness
How can I function living this?

written in july 1, 2010